I Got a T-shirt!

That’s my exciting news. I got a free t-shirt from Swan Day and I bought some peonies. I got two for one because they were officially buy two get one free and RSG and I bought two and she handed me the free one. Because she’s nice like that.

I had another post all planned and it was going to be so funny, but (and here’s the thing with living in a tiny city like Portland) I realized I knew some people loosely connected to the thing I was going to crack on. So I pulled up. PULL UP! PULL UP! But it was funny, Fan Club, very funny. And now it is not funny because everyone I know does Important Things. That are not at all really silly and would provide excellent blog fodder. Also, if I did write about it on my blog, please know that in my heart I always believe 100% of the white liberal 50 year-old women in flowing skirts edificating me on how to be a powerful woman in this male-oppressive corporate-dominated HELLHOLE called America and there is no CLASSISM except for those same 50 year old women treating service people like the help and me like I don’t know shit despite my being 100 times more successful at 33 than they are at 53.

Ahem.

So I took a photograph of my new shirt.

With my fancy camera and no bra. And when I looked at the pictures, I realized Stever would have an anuerysm because they were not safe for work. And, more importantly, my boobs looked lopsided.

See?

Lopsided as are the text and photos because for fuck’s sake, it is just a black blog day.

This does not make me happy, Internet.

Here’s another one.

So I put a bra on.

See, isn’t that better? I’m sure I’m totally NOT subverting the dominant paradigm by being upset that my boobs are lopsided. Because that structure and form and symmetry is a TOTAL PENIS THING.

The moral of today’s blog post: burning bras and being condescending douchebags is something that we can look forward to doing when we’re old. Unfortunately, that’s when a good fitting bra is most important.

Fight the power.

Or whatever