Recovering Californian » naked bike ride http://www.melissalion.com Actualizing narrative since 2009, or 1975 depending on how you look at it. Fri, 30 Jul 2010 13:51:43 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 en hourly 1 If Crissy Can Do It http://www.melissalion.com/2009/06/if-crissy-can-do-it/ http://www.melissalion.com/2009/06/if-crissy-can-do-it/#comments Mon, 15 Jun 2009 15:38:20 +0000 admin http://www.melissalion.com/?p=1289 So, there’s Crissy with not one but two children and one of them is brand new and all bean-like and she’s blogging. I’ve got one kid and that seems like paradise to me at this point because not a day passes that I don’t want to remove my ovaries with a rusty spoon to avoid any future children.

And before you all jump on the tube-tying bandwagon, please note that I have an IUD, only the greatest birth control ever (along with my unwaivering fear of pregnant women and reproduction). I have the Mirena IUD, which, I swear makes me think (for one second) that there might be one single doctor in this world who loves women. I know that’s probably not true because doctors are evil (I have a doctor fear and a fear of heights). BUT someone invented birth control that is put in once and is 99% effective AND it makes my periods go away. I mean the menstruating part. The crazies are still there, as well as the breaking out. GAWD. But the period itself — nada. Or very little like every six months. Hello awesomeness! And I’m not getting fat and having my brain short circuit making me not want sex at all like what happened on this pill, which is, I think, the pill’s magic formula. Make a girl fat and crazy and that’ll shut her knees up tight.

Also, I want you to look at this picture from BikePortland.org. [Did I do that right? PHOTO CREDIT BIKEPORTLAND.ORG. Right? Right?]

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The Portland Naked Bike Ride thing was Saturday night. And I did not participate because I believe that a girl (me) looks better in some undergarments than completely naked. And plus, the position you’d have to be on while riding is not the most flattering for a lady who has been preggers before and who nursed. And because it’s called the naked ride, I didn’t think I could wear delicate underbits. But it turns out you can and now I’m in love with this girl. I love you bike lady.

Finally, did you get your Back Fence tickets? Back Fence is taking a break after our June show, so get your fix now. We’ll be back in Fall.

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