Some BlogHer Suggestions
Okay, so I don’t want to just complain because I really did get some good things out of BlogHer ‘09. I networked a lot and made excellent connections professionally and personally. But I have some ideas for a different conference for women bloggers. My idea is that men would be welcomed too, but it would be directed at women because there were moments at the conference when I was spoken to about techy things without an ounce of condescension. I’m a mac girl, and I hate to admit this, but my favorite sponsor was Microsoft, simply because Louise gave me her pitch frankly and directly. And it was all tech. And I held up my end of the conversation quite nicely. In my experience at techy things with men, I’m not spoken to quite so directly.
(I can hear Fancyhats groaning right now and picking up his cell to call me and tell me that the reason I’m not spoken to directly by men in tech is because I present myself as all boobs and no brains.)
I participate in the perception that I can’t figure out the magic box. Not to get into my own psychology, but I and other women have figured out that being pretty and not too sharp can get us stuff. It’s not a great quality of mine and I’m sure I could act intelligently all the time, but sometimes I just want stuff done for me. Or I really am not so bright in certain situations and I need things explained to me carefully. Okay, so I act dumb in situations where I’m not dumb. Good and moving on.
Anyboobs, I have some suggestions for a new conference. I say a new conference because it seemed to me that BlogHer and the Mommy Bloggers were getting exactly what they needed from each other. There’s no reason to change it. Everyone is happy. People exhausted by the Mommy Bloggers were in the minority; I think we filled one table.
So a new conference–
I think a mix of panels, classes and networking opportunities would be excellent.
Panels would be beginning tech things to advanced concepts.
Things like:
Compare and contrast the major blogging platforms
Taking a blog to the next level (including how to redirect your URL — which many people there hadn’t done — and basic CSS coding)
Advanced CSS coding
Self-hosting how-to. And advanced self-hosting.
Blogging Ettiquette
Monetizing Blogs
Writing and blogging
Become a professional blogger
And some smaller networking lunches or mixers which would be broken out by type of person you want to network with.
So there would be:
Web developers
Professional bloggers
Media
Sponsors
And there could be a specific type of blogger you could network with. Like knitting bloggers, food bloggers, humor bloggers, celebrity bloggers.
Men and women would participate in panels and networking lunches and mixers. The focus would be getting the top people in those categories to speak to the attendees.
Okay, those are my suggestions for a women’s blogging convention. Less laundry soap. More blogging and networking because I’m pretty sure getting laundry soap in exchange for shout-outs is in no way monetizing a blog. Or working toward monetizing a blog. Seems to me it’s more like cheapening the whole thing.
BlogHer ‘09 Some Thoughts
My new friend Alicia Eler left really amazing comments on my last post. So I think you should read those. Because they were super-thoughtful and way more articulate than I could have been.
Also, I’m not supposed to be on the internet today. Today, I’m supposed to be doing nothing. Because after 9 days of puking my guts out, followed by three days of painting my house and moving everything I own into my carport, and then four days in Chicago, I have a cold. And I’m tired.
And Alicia’s comments will remain better than my thoughts on the conference because the words and the funny have troubles coming from my fingers when I’m tired, I’m just going to number my thoughts:
1) The mommy blogger bullshit and the sponsors gearing 100% of their pitch to these women was in turn frightening, irritating, amusing, disheartening, and confusing. At one point I had this thought: “If they don’t try and sell me laundry soap, what would they try and sell me?” And I had no idea. (Please see the sentence above where I puked for 9 days.) I think because I don’t have a television, I’m not exposed quite as much to ads geared toward women. Is this what’s being marketed to us all the time? I mean, is this the only conversation advertisers know how to have with women, and more importantly, is this the only conversation women want to have? Let me tell you, the mommy bloggers were active participants in the conversation.
I wonder what sorts of conversations you all want to have. If you went to a big conference what products would you want to learn about?
2) I kept calling my new friends the lezzies. And that didn’t sit well with me too. I was trying to work out why I couldn’t find my own friends. Why I was holding onto to Kathryn’s apron strings. And why, when I did venture out, I just couldn’t connect with anyone. I spent the whole conference wondering I couldn’t find my people. But I had. I totally had. One of my new friends, B (I don’t want to name anyone on the internet who doesn’t want to be) is an events producer in Chicago! And I still kept calling them the lezzies. Alicia correctly identified the problem was in my perception.
3) People kept talking about monetizing blogs. And other women said they were tired by all the monetizing talk. I think valuing our writing and blogs is important and I support the monetizing conversation. But I think you must have substance and value that can be monetized and the conversation should have been equally balanced between creating substance and monetizing that.
4) We need a separate conference for people who are interested in networking more than they are interested in getting free Mary Kay samples.
5) And this might be the most disturbing thing I learned: there’s a new status thing in the world of the mommy blogger. It’s being a [insert the most disgusting store on the planet] Mom. Yes, women want to be Small Part Moms. They want this. They want to be aligned with something with a name for being cheap and poorly made and downright abusive to other human beings. Why not just call yourself that? Call yourself A Human-Rights-Abusing-Cheaply-Made-Indepenent-Business-Destroying-Community-Ending-Ugly-Cheap-Cheap-Cheap Mom? Could someone create that widget for me?
Finally, I need to apologize to all of my readers for the last few posts. They are not my smartest. I’m tired, people. Tired.
Okay, back to doing nothing now.
Also, here are Alicia’s comments because I want you all to read them:
Some of my best friends are lezzies: BlogHer09 Missing Fancyhats
by admin
15 comments
I Blame Dooce
This weekend I’m identifying as lesbian. Without the having sex with women (or womyn) part. Though according to the magnificent Deb on the Rocks, there’s a campaign among the BlogHer lezzies to get a tongue in one of my orifices. Deb is so charming and kind and beautiful and wonderful and famouser than I am and so she’s the lead in this little contest of wills. Also I think she’s putting me on.
I’ve spent the whole conference with the lezzies. Except for yesterday when I squared my shoulders and told Kathryn (Recovering Straight Girl) that I would stop hiding behind the skirts (worn, baggy jeans) of the lezzies and branch out on my own. I would find my own people. I would hang out with straight women.
Lunch rolled around and I chose a table with some friendly-looking women. I sat down and put on my best friendly Portland face. Ready to make some conversation.
Let me explain something about BlogHer. It’s very well organized and like all events, the amount of money people pay doesn’t match up to the expenses. I know. This is my favorite misconception about Back Fence — that we’re making money hand over fist because 300 people attend the event and pay $10-12. It’s pretty easy math, but what’s less easy is calculating the behind-the-scenes costs. BlogHer is no different. So there are sponsors to make up for the loss.. The sponsors take over the whole bottom floor and have booths full of laundry soap and MaryKay makeup and more laundry soap.
And every single time slot has a session on Mommy Blogging. Mommy Blogging. These Mommy Bloggers own this conference. As I’ve overheard the conversations of these women, they say Mommy Blogger without a touch of irony. I’m confused. But whatever.
So I sat down with some friendly looking women. The woman next to me was a PR person for a laundry soap company and as I sat, she asked me, “Are you a Mommy Blogger?” And I said, “Well, I have a child and I also blog, but I wouldn’t call myself a Mommy Blogger.”
After that, not a single person at the table engaged me in conversation. I tried to chat with the other women at the table, who were, by the way, wearing t-shirts that had some variation of Mommy and Blog written on them. In pen. I tried. And I was totally iced out.
I finished my food, put my plate away and sat down with the lezzies and joined right in the conversation. They know I’m straight and they never bat an eye. I went to the lezzie party and had a blast. And now I’m sitting with the lezzies for the lezzie keynote speech. From here on out, I’m identifying as lezzie.
Just until Sunday when I leave. For Portland. Home of the lezzie.
I’m really glad you ended up hanging out with us. It’s too bad that Blogher is so heavily marketed toward mommy bloggers that anyone outside of that mainstream category becomes immediately othered.
On that same note, I was thinking about our group less as a bunch of lezzies and more just as a group of cool queers/artists/writers. I was wondering why you used the word lesbian, especially since I didn’t think our group even had much to do with sexuality–it was more that we were not mommy bloggers.
Hope you had a nice flight back to Portland. Stay in touch!
Also to add: More that we were not mommy bloggers and, instead, we were women thinking about the larger implications of having a womens’ blog conference so heavily marketed towards a stay-at-home mom who blogs about having kids. It makes me think of the now-cliched 1950s housewife who stays at home with the kids and gets bombarded with marketing campaigns for new household appliances through TV, radio, and direct marketing. The new wave of mommy bloggers, in many ways, seem like an updated version of that 1950s housewife–except now the mommy blogger has a “voice” online, on her blog and on Twitter, and she has an online instead of in-person “community.” I think of the neighborhoods of the 50s versus the fractured networked society we live in where neighbors dont talk to one another much.
That said, I think our group was not only women thinking outside the norm about the flaws of our healthcare industry–especially as they relate to women and women of color–but also about body image, anyone who doesn’t fit the mainstream middle-class successful white woman prototype, the politics of food, and the need for more local, sustainable businesses like Wolfbait and B-Girls.
I think that most of us in this group happened to be women who sleep with women is besides the point–our coming together had little to do with sexuality, and more to do with our politics, ideologies, and creativity. I wish you had spoken about that in your post rather than boiled it down to the simple fact that we weren’t straight. It seems to me that we were all queer–not in terms of sexuality–but rather ideologies, and that this queerness sets us apart from the mommy bloggers and brought us together for a really enjoyable weekend.