How Do I Know If I’m A Booty Call?

Someone hit my blog yesterday searching for that very answer. And, I try to give the people what they want here on Recovering Californian. I’ve never been a booty call (not that I’m judging this, I just have limited experience), so I might not be that versed on the topic, but I will try. I WILL TRY.

You’d know if you were a booty call if the person calls you and you get together and have sex and then the person (or you) leaves.

Does that sound right, internet?

I guess there could be more to it.

Let me expand.

Perhaps the person (can I say it’s a he, not because I’m sexist, but because I’m sexist), he, calls you and takes you to dinner and then you have sex and maybe he spends the night. And you don’t really do much more than that. And that might be a booty call too.

Or if he takes you to miniature golf and you have sex and then you leave. Or he leaves.

Or maybe you all go and hang out at the 7-11 and have sex and then you go your separate ways.

Basically, I don’t think booty calls get to meet the parents. But maybe they do. Maybe there are booty calls that are about the sex, but also about appearances. Or maybe booty calls can be the whole relationship and the parents are in the know.

Or, maybe, I think there is someone trying to get you, gentle reader, to be a booty call and he says, “You’re my girlfriend/ wife/ emergency contact, now can we have sex?”

You know, I started this post and it was going to be a very simple explanation of the whole thing from my extremely limited point of view and it would be funny and a bit snarky. But I’m starting to see that it is a very confusing situation and perhaps someone who knows more on the topic would have offered a better blog post.

So, maybe just ask the person.

One more thing: is Angelina Jolie pregnant? I’m very confused. Is she having twins? Is she still going out with Brad Pitt? And furthermore, what’s up with the Madonna stuff?

I haven’t read any celebrity gossip in a long time, so I see little headlines and I have no idea what’s going. So if someone could just leave the answer in comments, I’d be obliged. And who’s our president?