The bulk of Some Girls takes place in Borneo in the prince’s house, where she was virtually a prisoner — they filmed her every movement — and was living with many other girls in the same circumstances.  Imagine living with a bunch of girls, all bored, all trying to win the affection of a single man. OH MY GOD.

The rest of the story is her life after the harem. She’s so raw and honest with the reader, her story of coming out of the harem and returning to real life have the same amount of drama as the harem story. It’s been a long time since I chose to sit down and read a book for hours, instead of knitting or riding my bike or whatever it is I do when I’m not reading for hours. I absolutetly love this book, and I think you should all read it. EVERY ONE OF YOU.

Also, Jillian’s going to tell a story at Back Fence PDX on May 19th! So reserve your tickets to that. It’s going to be sold out and we’re not doing advanced ticket sales so we can avoid Ticketm&^%er fees. Reserved tickets will have priority in the line.

Go! Get tickets now!!

So Back Fence last week rocked. It was amazing. We laughed, we cried. And one guy broke the very one rule of Back Fence. The time limit. He broke it big. Doubled it, in fact.

And no one realized it because people were standing up and cheering for this dude.

Here’s his story:

Matt Pellegrin at Back Fence PDX from Melissa Lion on Vimeo.

In other news, GET YOUR LUCKY BASTARD TICKETS. We’re going to sell the space out, and I want you to be there. We’ll save some tickets for the door, but your best bet is to grab tickets now.

And we have Laura Faye Smith telling a story! She was amazing in the Receptionist at PCS. Amazing. So come here her tell a story. And we’re giving away a $50 gift certificate to Popina!

GET TICKETS HERE AND NOW!

This show is going to be so awesome. It’s everything good that Portland has to offer, from Fourever Young playing Appalachian Beach Boys tunes, sketch comedy from Eastland Academy, a DIY Demo, the former director of MTV’s How’s Your News showing clips from various political events and everyone’s favorite Portlander — Nathaniel Boggess.

I’m pretty sure Nathaniel has dated 85% of the available women in this town. I’m sure of it because I’ve had three different women come up to me and say, “I dated that guy.”

I’m sure he got even more dates from his Back Fence story. Did you see it? No? Well, check it out.

Nathaniel Boggess at Back Fence PDX from Melissa Lion on Vimeo.

GO GET YOUR TICKETS!

I’m posting over on Narrative Actualization. I realize I’m slowly compiling all the stuff I know about writing. So if you’re interested in writing, or my writing thoughts, subscribe to that blog. And buy a writing bite!

And I’ve been checking the weather for Boston. This week it’s been sunny and in the high 50’s. This gave me hope. It’s rained in Portland for seven weeks straight. But the week we’re there? RAIN. OMG people. OMG.

In other news, I sat under Tahiti for a full hour this morning.

AND because I can’t get enough of event production, Back Fence has two more events that are awesome!

We have our bimonthly live storytelling show at the Mission on November 19th! The theme is Get Me Outta Here, and we have amazing tellers including Karol Collymore, Fatboy Roberts, Former Corrections Officer Rory Miller and former Navy Explosives Builder Sara Atkeson, among others. It’s going to be explosive! Plus cupcakes!

TICKETS ARE ON SALE HERE!

And on December 2nd (doors 6:30, show at 7:30) at the Bagdad Theater, Back Fence PDX, Mortified, and True Stories team up again for another evening of words and stories! The name of the event is Word to the Wise(men) and we’ll have  two storytellers from Back Fence and two performers from each Mortified and True Stories, as well as John Roderick of the Long Winters playing some music and doing some storytelling himself. Adam Shearer is hosting. And ladies decked out in Popina Swimwear and Rosabode aviator hats will hand out cupcakes. Tickets are $12 in advance, $15 at the door. Info at www.wordtopdx.com.

I’m giving away a limited number of  free tickets to the October 30th Eastland Academy/ auGi sketch comedy show. I’ve seen Eastland Academy three times and each time I’ve had tears running down my face because I’ve laughed so hard. Their comedy is dark, smart and innapropriate — my favorite kind! Also, the first time Fancyhats and I hung out as friends, we went to see Eastland. So if you want to fall in love with the man of your dreams, maybe you should attend the show…just sayin’.

I saw auGi at Mortified do this. Seriously, if you can watch that and not pee yourself, well I just don’t know.

And there will be free cupcakes, plus vodka for a donation. VODKA.

It happens at the IFCC, 5430 N Interstate, on October 30th.

You get free tickets by going here. Enter the discount code: candy. And away you go. (Shhhh…tomorrow I release more into the wild.)

Here are the Eastland ladies. Are they not adorable?

First up, Entertainment for People tickets are ON SALE NOW! This is a Back Fence PDX production and it is going to be so damn funny. We have Dan Kennedy, Beth Lisick, Eastland Academy and auGi all performing. These are all funny people. FUNNY. And, like the name says, it will be entertaining. For people.

And not to freak you out, but the space we’re having it in is half the size of The Mission, from which we had to turn people away last time. So maybe you want to buy tickets in advance. Just sayin’.

Next up, my business is launching September 1st. I’ve been promised this by my handsome, fabulously smart, wonderful web developer. So for those of you who have ever said you’d pay teh monies for a class with me but we don’t live in the same state, know that you’d better be ready to pony up. Thanks to the power of technology, you will soon be able to take classes from me. FROM THE COMFORT OF YOUR HOME.

I’ll keep you updated on that.

Finally, let it be known that August 26th was the day I turned into my mother. I’ve been craving Coke-a-Cola for a week now. Dying for it. But, basically, I feel soda is pure poison so I don’t drink it. I mean, sometimes I’ll get it at a bar, but I haven’t bought it for my house ever. Never. This house has never contained a six-pack of soda. I have a bottle of 7-Up for when I have crummies in my tummies (we read The Lorax last night) but I’ve never bought Coke.

Yesterday I had to give in. I needed it. NEEDED IT.

So I went to the market and marched right over to the soda aisle and OH MY GOD there were so many choices. I was so confused and lost and confused. I marveled at people just marching into the aisle and grabbing what they wanted. I had no idea. I mean, I knew I wanted Coke. Regular Coke. But why were there so many variations?!?

So I started narrowing things down. I wanted a six-pack. Cans.

Just for kicks, I read the side of the red can. And, just like I imagined, PURE EVIL. So I thought, I don’t want that naughty high fructose corn syrup. Maybe I’d get some Diet Coke. The Diet Coke promised “Real Coke-a-Cola taste!” And WHY WOULD THEY LIE TO ME?!?! Then I noticed Diet Vanilla Coke. They just had it in a 12-pack. I didn’t want that.

But I remembered my mom and her cupboard filled with Diet Vanilla CHERRY Coke. She also has Diet Vanilla Cherry Dr. Pepper. I remembered the last time I saw her and the delight she experienced when 3:30 came and she cracked open a can, poured it over ice and sat quietly with her soda.

We didn’t have the cherry variety because this is Portland. And Portland, despite its “mass” transit, is a small town. We shun cherries. And SUVs.

So I bought the next best thing — Diet Vanilla Coke. I bought it. And today, this afternoon, I plan to sit and enjoy it. Because I am now my mother.

Over the past week we took on a new event that would give us an opportunity to bring cool people to our audience. A few people will tell stories, a few will perform. The audience will laugh. A lot. Dan Kennedy, author of Loser Goes First, Rock On and host of The Moth’s StorySLAM in New York is coming to town and wanted to work with us. So he’ll be there. The Moth is New York’s live storytelling series. Beth Lisick of San Francisco’s Porchlight is performing. And yes, Porchlight is San Francisco’s live storytelling event. (See how the names all fit together — The Moth, Porchlight, Back Fence) She also told a story at the October Back Fence. Eastland Academy is doing some sketch comedy. We’ll have some music too.

Happens September 10th. Door at 7, show 8.

Basically, it’s going to be awesome. We’re doing it at The Woods, in SE Portland. It’s a former mortuary. And it’s about half the space of The Mission. So tickets will go pretty fast.

And, of course, we have our regular show at The Mission on Sept 23. Storytellers to be announced on that one!

Here’s to Back Fence branching out!