Dreams Do Come True, It Could Happen To You…

I am beat, Internet.

I couldn’t sleep last night and I think I woke up with a crying hangover.

Let me tell you what happened last night — I was there to watch two people have their dreams come true. That is the lamest phrase in the whole world, but I have no better way of describing it.

Here’s the skinny, Kevin Sampsell was a small press author. A quick summary of the publishing industry — there are big houses (Random House, Harper Collins, Simon, Penguin, Hachette) and these are all owned by multi-national conglomerates (Bertlesmen, Fox, Comcast, Pearson, Hachette). And there are small presses that are not owned by huge conglomerates and therefore don’t have the distribution or the restrictions on publishing popular fiction. There are also micropresses (think staplers and photocopiers) and Kevin runs one of those.

But no matter how indie and cool you are, most everyone wants to be published by a major house. Because that’s fancy. But when you look at the numbers, you’re more special if you publish at a small house than a big one, but people think the money is better at a big house. Make no mistake – there is no good money in publishing.

Kevin was probably my first friend in Portland. He introduced me to Frayn. She and I bonded over Clearasil. About a week later we started Back Fence. I met Frayn and Kevin at a nutty time in all of our lives. But one thing I knew was that Frayn loved Kevin. He was the one for her. Despite his going through a really nutty time. I feel like I can say that because it’s a bit of what his book is about. Plus we all go through nutty times where we do not treat people the way they should be treated. And many of us, like Kevin, recover from that. Through it all, Frayn knew she loved Kevin.

I didn’t really understand that. Not specifically to Kevin, but just in general. I didn’t get knowing this is the one for you. Gradually I became surrounded by friends in loving long-term marraiges and relationships. It seemed like everyone I knew was with the one for them. I didn’t believe that was true. Despite everyone else experiencing it. I just didn’t believe it could happen. At the same time, I always had this idea in my head about who my ideal guy was. But I knew he didn’t exist because people are not perfect and people are not magical and whatever.

So on I marched, believing there was no right one. And Kevin straightened out his brain and wrote his book, and Frayn loved him a lot. She also did other stuff too like Back Fence and screenwriting and writing and filming stuff. She’s a working writer, don’t doubt it. Their relationship grew stronger.

Kevin and I go to LA for BEA. I have to buy him a hot dog because he’s so sick with nerves because he might be signing a book contract there. We sit together in the LA sunshine and talk books. A guy sits next to us on the phone talking about Guns and Roses. Kevin is pale and sweaty. Later Kevin signs a contract with Harper Collins. I fancy it’s because of the hot dog I bought him.

We did Back Fence more, we needed some printing done. I called this guy who I knew on Twitter who did printing and asked him to hook me up with some free printing. He said yes. He brought a date to Back Fence. He was cute with this great voice and I was crushed. He and his date looked so miserable, I thought “Oh, they must be married.” I was doubly crushed.

Back Fence is a success, Frayn and Kevin work it out. My life goes through hell. Though my relationship with Kevin is strained (nutty time for both of us) he says he’s there for me. Frayn is there for me. Back Fence seems like the only thing I can do right. Frayn and I have talked about this. That Back Fence gives us both direction and stability. It’s so much more than an event. It’s been there for both of us during really crappy times.

Fast forward to last night.

It’s Kevin’s book release party and reading at Powell’s. 250 people turned out for his reading. Of his book. With a major publisher. Dream 1 — Come True. At the end of the reading, he proposes to Frayn. Dream 2– Come True.

I did a lot of crying last night. These two people were just radiating happiness. A lot of people were crying. I was there with Fancyhats — the one for me, and the living breathing version of the ideal guy who lived in my brain. We were surrounded by Back Fence alumni and friends and I was watching two friends reach the place they’d been dreaming about.

It was really, really wonderful. I’m so happy I was there. But I’m drained, Internet. I’ve never been walloped with happiness before, but seriously. Watching the two of them at the podium after the proposal and the happiness nearly knocked me over. It was really incredible. How could I be slugged by happiness? I don’t know, but I was and it felt good.

Congratulations to Frayn and Kevin! I raise my tea mug in your direction.

(I secretly hope Back Fence will step into the wedding business.)