Robbing the Last Bit of Joy from the Boy’s Life
Posted on | January 5, 2010 | 10 Comments
I went to CostCo yesterday. I am a firm believer in CostCo. I like the idea that I would never have to leave my house ever especially when end times come and the cost of oil turns us into blood sucking robots, I will still have toilet paper!!
You should know that Archie loves yogurt. Loves it. And loves the worst yogurt of all time. He only wants the grocery store brand, fruit on the bottom, high fructose corn syrup, Red #5 cocktail. And I’ve been buying it for him because I figured it was the least I could do. Poor kid has to eat healthy food all the time and never gets McDonalds. He’s been to Burgerville twice in his life. And Burgerville is all wind-powered, locally grown food. But it’s also fast food. FAST FOOD.
I would stand in the market and let him pick out his yogurt and cringe. Because EW. And those little cups that just go in the trash. It’s so wasteful. I just picture those little cups lying around in trash dumps killing baby birds as they off-gas their plastic softeners and cancer germs.
So I went to CostCo determined to find the solution to my liberal guilt combined with my processed food phobia that manifests in a tiny nervous breakdown each morning when he wants yogurt.
And I found it.
I bought a vat of organic yogurt for $3 (hellllo deal!). And I bought a huge bag of frozen strawberries for $7. And this morning I cooked the strawberries up in a pot with some honey and I’m going to mix the strawberries with yogurt and keep it in a tupperware and serve him bowls as he asks for it. AND HE WILL ASK FOR IT. Because it’s healthy.
In summary, my son has no joy in his life.
I might even makes some homemade granola to go with it.
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10 Responses to “Robbing the Last Bit of Joy from the Boy’s Life”
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January 5th, 2010 @ 11:54 am
And you haven’t been saving the little yogurt cups for this very bait and switch, why??
In other news, you’re very creative.
January 5th, 2010 @ 12:12 pm
I’ve been doing the same thing. Char only wants the yogurt with fucking DIEGO on the cup and I’m not having it anymore for all the reasons mentioned above. So I buy the big thing of organic vanilla yogurt and I put sliced up oranges, a little orange rind, blueberries, and wheat germ in it. She goes crazy for it and it’s really, really delicious. And when I don’t have that stuff, I let her pick out a sugar free jam to stir into it.
This is why they’ll get along great when they’re married. We will have traumatized them and they’ll bond over a bag of Doritos and a couple of Trix GoGurts (shudder).
January 5th, 2010 @ 12:17 pm
When I was babysitting my nephews the other day I asked if they wanted yogurt with their lunch. They looked at me like I was crazy and then the oldest very snobbily said, “Auntie Megan. It’s called GOGURT.” Right. So, yeah, kids love that processed crap.
January 5th, 2010 @ 1:07 pm
Let there be no doubt, I will intervene when you start talking about making his clothes.
January 5th, 2010 @ 4:34 pm
I used to love, love, love this yogurt called Breakfast Yoplait when I was a little girl. It had nuts and stuff in it. They stopped making it and my dad never tried to make it at home for me.
I’m printing out this post to show him that sometimes parents make yogurt for their children.
Hmmph!
January 5th, 2010 @ 6:27 pm
If Arch doesn’t want that yogurt, send it to me.
January 5th, 2010 @ 7:21 pm
That sounds really good.
But give the boy a hamburger! More burgers! As president of Hamburger Club I have to request he eats more hamburgers!!!!
January 5th, 2010 @ 7:52 pm
I love Costco! I think you came up with a great solution for his love of yogurt.
January 6th, 2010 @ 10:18 am
Lol.
I don’t know. I’ve just never let that as a comment before.
“lol”
January 7th, 2010 @ 8:13 am
thank god for fancyhats.