I Think Smart Stuff
Posted on | November 6, 2009 | 6 Comments
First off, let me say that on Tuesday, November 24th, around dinnertime on the East Coast, the world is going to stop spinning and angels will descend from the heavens and Quezacotl will take away everyone’s mePhones or whatever because Ken, Crissy, Fancyhats and I are having dinner together in Boston! Is this making anyone else as happy as it’s making me? Probably not, BUT WHATEVER.
For the past few nights I’ve woken up at three in the morning with some brilliant thoughts. Well, just two brilliant thoughts. And at 3am they seems so smart, so prescient. I am sure I’ve invented a little something called the Apple Computer and I will be the next Steve Jobs, or BETTER, the next guy who invented the internet. Whoever that is — Hi! You’re great! I have friends because of you!
So here were the ideas:
1) Handmade truffles DELIVERED ON A BIKE.
and
2) I will write and star in a one-woman show about BEING A MOM!
I realize in the cold light of day that these ideas were neither brilliant nor all that interesting or unique. But I just thought I’d share them in case there’s a venture capitalist with a few million burning a hole in his pocket just waiting to fund someone making truffles by hand and delivering them on a Bianchi, and/or a woman who acted just once in junior high school in a play about witches and was so bad she never got cast again but she’ll talk about being a mom. A MOM.
What are your brilliant/not really brilliant ideas?
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6 Responses to “I Think Smart Stuff”
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November 6th, 2009 @ 8:59 am
I had a brilliant idea to make non-prescription disposable contact lenses–as sunglasses. For example, you know you’re going to be outside all day on a sunny day, either you can put on your sunglasses or….you can pop in your sun-glasses-contact lenses and not have to worry about wearing bulky sunglasses. It would be great for sunny days at the amusement park or if you’re an outfielder for the local highschool baseball team. Brilliant idea?
Now, someone on the internet steal it away and make your millions…
November 6th, 2009 @ 9:01 am
No fair, no fair, no fair! I call no fair on all this bloggers meeting shit. I mean seriously? Are there no layovers in the Midwest anymore? Hrmph. Phht. And grumble.
But have fun.
I mean seriously. I live vicariously off all of you anyway! I am imagining loads and loads of laughing and naughtiness. Take Boston by storm!
And then tell me all about it.
November 6th, 2009 @ 12:07 pm
I AM SO JEALOUS.
HARRUMPH.
November 6th, 2009 @ 4:02 pm
I think bizarre shit at 3am too. And I think it’s WONDERFUL and sometimes I get so excited I write it down! And when I wake up in the morning I cannot believe what my 3am self was thinking. It’s embarrassing.
Don’t be jealous you guys. Ken and I are really pretty lame.
November 7th, 2009 @ 2:01 pm
I seriously have a birth control idea that is so brilliant that before I’m willing to share it with anyone ANYONE I need to get it patented (or at least check to see if there is a patent out there. I swear it will REVOLUTIONIZE the way you think about birth control and women’s health, it’s that good!!
I have another idea for use in houses, hotels, cruise ships, possibly hospitals??, this product can be used by EVERYONE! Again, it’s so great that I just don’t want to share it with anyone. If I could just get a spot on that one reality TV show called Chance or the other one similar to Chance……where people pitch ideas and a panel of self made millionaires either buy the idea or offer to give you $$ in hopes of owning part of the business.
I’d sell each idea for just a million dollars each. Could make the person who buys my ideas BILLIONS! I swear to you they are that good!
November 9th, 2009 @ 5:52 am
despite what my wife may say about me, i am decidedly NOT LAME. she can speak for herself. (i have heard, however, that i DO have a particular propensity for making lewd comments about nudity and sex.)
if i may make a suggestion, instead of riding a bike, perhaps you can deliver those truffles while wearing skates and a roller-derby uniform? let’s just say i appreciate the incongruity of riot-grrl black fishnets and skull emblems with refined desert pastry…