The Plague and Interior Design
Posted on | July 8, 2009 | 9 Comments
We’re on day three of the plague here. We’ve both had the pukes, but that has subsided. Still not a lot of food consumed, but whatever. At least we’re not barfing.
My best friend from high school moved up here about two months ago and he’s an interior designer so he gave me a consult, because the inside of my house, right now, does not make me happy. It’s super cold and empty-feeling. So my bf came over and gave me a ton of great ideas to make it feel better. And we chose some different paint colors to try and basically the whole thing made me feel at once incredibly hopeful and also really, really stupid.
Like how come I didn’t know that taking some pictures and framing them and hanging them on my wall would make things better. Especially because I have a Holga and immediately anything taken with a Holga seems arty. So I could take some arty pictures of stuff and then hang them on my newly painted walls that aren’t painted yet, but will be.
This whole interior design thing reminds me of gardening. It’s incredibly frustrating not to just know this stuff. I shut down a little when I start to think about it.
Also Fancyhats hasn’t been in my house yet. Because he’s got this sweet little condo that’s really comfortable and beautiful inside and my house is such a frustration for me. I don’t want him judging or being judgy. Even though he’s not and clearly things will be different in my house in two weeks when I move all the furniture out and start to paint and re-do stuff here. So I’ve avoided having him in my house. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME? — I’m asking this on several levels. Like the level where I don’t know how to do stuff to make a comfortable home, and also why do I not trust Fancyhats enough to just be like, it’s cool. We’re all helping you fix it up. Not to worry.
I just feel like I’m supposed to know how to make a house a home because I’m a woman and a mom. And I’m supposed to know things like which colors are warm and which aren’t and that white walls suck donkey balls. But I didn’t know all of this stuff when we moved here. And basically for the last two years I’ve just been trying to keep my head above water.
Have I mentioned that all I’ve eaten in two days was some mac n’ cheese, which I puked up immediately? I AM A LITTLE EMOTIONAL.
Okay, so for the record, as of August 5th, my house will be all gorgeous or on its way to being gorgeous and Fancyhats and everyone else loves me despite my white walls and people are willing to help me and I need to get over myself.
Also, I need a nap. And some food. And to not barf as soon as I eat something. And also for Archie to not barf as soon as he eats something.
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9 Responses to “The Plague and Interior Design”
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July 8th, 2009 @ 2:41 pm
No need to get over yourself. I still think decorating my walls in beer bottles is acceptable. YOU’VE SEEN IT.
Also, I hope you stop puking. Although I bet you’re super skinny. UPSIDE. <3
July 8th, 2009 @ 3:07 pm
You gave me the pukies over the internets. I blame you. And I’m still at work, because there’s VERY IMPORTANT STUFF going on today. So I just bolt to the bathroom on occasion and hurl.
And don’t worry. My mom knows nothing about decorating. It’s cold and boring at their house, but MY house is warm and inviting. Archie will be fine.
In case you were wondering.
July 8th, 2009 @ 4:24 pm
I started to paint our apartment in SF and gave up after two hours.
And every time I super clean the apartment I’m like why don’t I do this every day? It’s so nice and then Dane’s little scraps of paper are everywhere mixed with ashes and kitty litter and half empty diet coke cans and I.Just.Give.Up.
I’m so sorry you’re pukey, honey. Please do the resting and hydrating.
July 8th, 2009 @ 4:44 pm
A: I pray for the pukes, tapeworm, amoebic dysentery, anything so that I can lose a few pounds. I’m jealous of your vomitus so welcome to my eating disorder or sad lack thereof.
#2: I wish, wish, wish that I could come and help you pick paint colors and make your house your own because that, my friend, is my most favorite thing to do in the world. I hope you post pictures.
D: You need to have Fancypants come and see the befores so that he can be impressed with the afters. Just sayin.
July 8th, 2009 @ 6:26 pm
Couple things (and I’m a little cranky right now so please dont hold it against me), 2-3 weeks ago you posted that you were taking husband applications in the midst of a pity party because you wanted someone to help screw in some parts on a new vacuum…but if my memory serves and the timeline is correct, you actually had a somebody to help you. Not just that but your post was so morose that it set me in a motion typing about the horrible state of my love life. Now I feel duped.
Further, you’ve even given him that awful diabetes inducing name, Fancyhats. Fancyhats? Really? (seriously, I need an insulin shot)
So, as a favor to you for your kind words to me in the recent past, I will help clarify for you; the ink on your divorce hasn’t dried yet and you’ve already found someone that accepts you, your bare walls and your kid. And bonus, he’s obviously not a loser. This sounds like a successful guy that wants to treat you right. And that’s pretty fucking good. Now write a happy post. Please.
(Also, Kiala–ashes??? Are you smoking or have you been starting fires again?)
July 8th, 2009 @ 8:57 pm
That came off way crankier than I intended.
I just mean to say that life is pretty good.
July 9th, 2009 @ 12:37 am
I start fires with my MIND. Like Drew Barrymore.
Okay, just flame wars. Accidentally.
July 10th, 2009 @ 2:09 pm
I’ve decided we have the swine flu. Please send out the calvary.
July 13th, 2009 @ 1:49 pm
see…I was WORRIED about you getting the plague……I fretted and fretted………
Hope you are better, and no vomits.