If Crissy Can Do It
Posted on | June 15, 2009 | 5 Comments
So, there’s Crissy with not one but two children and one of them is brand new and all bean-like and she’s blogging. I’ve got one kid and that seems like paradise to me at this point because not a day passes that I don’t want to remove my ovaries with a rusty spoon to avoid any future children.
And before you all jump on the tube-tying bandwagon, please note that I have an IUD, only the greatest birth control ever (along with my unwaivering fear of pregnant women and reproduction). I have the Mirena IUD, which, I swear makes me think (for one second) that there might be one single doctor in this world who loves women. I know that’s probably not true because doctors are evil (I have a doctor fear and a fear of heights). BUT someone invented birth control that is put in once and is 99% effective AND it makes my periods go away. I mean the menstruating part. The crazies are still there, as well as the breaking out. GAWD. But the period itself — nada. Or very little like every six months. Hello awesomeness! And I’m not getting fat and having my brain short circuit making me not want sex at all like what happened on this pill, which is, I think, the pill’s magic formula. Make a girl fat and crazy and that’ll shut her knees up tight.
Also, I want you to look at this picture from BikePortland.org. [Did I do that right? PHOTO CREDIT BIKEPORTLAND.ORG. Right? Right?]
The Portland Naked Bike Ride thing was Saturday night. And I did not participate because I believe that a girl (me) looks better in some undergarments than completely naked. And plus, the position you’d have to be on while riding is not the most flattering for a lady who has been preggers before and who nursed. And because it’s called the naked ride, I didn’t think I could wear delicate underbits. But it turns out you can and now I’m in love with this girl. I love you bike lady.
Finally, did you get your Back Fence tickets? Back Fence is taking a break after our June show, so get your fix now. We’ll be back in Fall.
Tags: Mirena IUD > naked bike ride > Portland
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5 Responses to “If Crissy Can Do It”
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June 15th, 2009 @ 12:32 pm
I’ve always been afraid of the IUD. And I can’t take the pill, so basically if I’m screwed, I’m screwed.
June 15th, 2009 @ 9:01 pm
The idea of riding a bike without clothing terrifies me in a way I cannot describe without using the words, “pee” and “in my pants”.
June 15th, 2009 @ 11:14 pm
Wait…what? Back Fence PDX is taking a break? WHAT AM I GONNA DO EVERY OTHER MONTH DURING THE SUMMER?!?
June 16th, 2009 @ 10:06 am
I’ve had my eye on that same pretty little IUD you speak of for about 10 months now. I asked for it in the hospital and the doctor laughed at me like I was kidding. I have a few weeks to go before he agrees to saddle me up, but when I’m ready, I’ll be rockin’ the Mirena IUD too.
We’ll be IUD sisters of the non-blood or something.
PS: Two kids aren’t that hard to deal with as long as there’s vodka.
June 19th, 2009 @ 12:38 pm
I have an IUD also.
They gave it to me because I was in a long-term committed relationship. When said relationship ended, they asked if I wanted it out.
I told them to go fuck themselves.