Gardening: Some Thoughts

I don’t know. I just…sometimes Portland…I feel so out of it.

Everyone here gardens and normally I’m a total follower with this shit, but now that summer’s here again, I realize that gardening makes me feel a little bit stabby. I’m not good with the learning new stuff especially when like everyone around me is way better at it than I am.

I need to be the best at it. THE BEST. And I am not that at gardening. Because I’m not much of a nurturer. The new guy (we’re still in need of a name, people. Kiala’s suggestion was rejected and Parademaster was too in-joke) is like a real garderner person who knows when to plant stuff and says things to me like, “well, you have to water your tomato plants.” Uh. Hello. I’m from Southern California where water is scarce and so people and plants must suck the moisture from our Starbucks iced drinks.

He’s also from the East Coast and this provides no end of fascinating stuff for me to learn. Like about American history and stuff. Because it turns out that Old Town in San Diego may not be the American historical mecca we were promised in elementary school. He also grew up in a house with a yard and gardens where they grew stuff to eat. I’d like to travel to this “East Coast” and see this “yard” and “garden.” And “house.”

I also had to tell him a few days ago that it’s tract homes, not track homes.

It’s a little like he’s from Mars and I’m from Venus. Someone should write a book!

Anyway, he knows about the gardening and, so far, has not said to me, “You know what? You’re so pretty and sweet and maybe not too bright with the gardening stuff and so why don’t I just do it for you.” Instead he tells me how to do stuff. In a direct manner with little emotion. It’s like he’s trying to teach me something about gardening. TEACH ME SOMETHING.

I don’t know. I just sort of want the weeds to go away and to wake up one morning with lavendar plants everywhere and climbing things and the feeling that if I step inside my magick English garden, I’ll be turned into Lizzie Bennett complete with empire waisted dress. How hard can that be?