Recovering Californian

Actualizing narrative since 2009, or 1975 depending on how you look at it.

I’m Not Meant for High Fashion

Posted on | April 21, 2009 | 11 Comments

Stever and I tried to make a high fashion photo shoot in honor of my new dress, which might just be the most perfectest dress ever sewn by 12 year old Sri Lankan child labor. But I…just…I’m not high fashion.

So I made cat sounds.

The point of these pictures is twofold:

1) This dress is a miracle worker because it makes me look all of three pounds. I am not three pounds, I weigh 150 pounds, and I’m about 5′7″, which, I think, sets me a few pounds in the overweight range. Eh, fuck it.

2) As much as I want to wear the four-inch heels tomorrow to Back Fence, I cannot. Becuase I need to get on and off the stage without breaking my neck. That is not possible in these shoes. I could barely make it out of my bedroom. Which is flat.

Also, why is aligning photos so fucking hard in a self-hosted wordpress blog?

See you tomorrow?

Category: Back Fence PDX, My Homelife is Straight out of Martha Stewart
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Comments

11 Responses to “I’m Not Meant for High Fashion”

  1. Kiala
    April 21st, 2009 @ 1:06 pm

    IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU FAT. Over 160 would make you slightly overweight according to the BMI chart or whatever.

    I am barely 5′8″ and 150 so shut it missy.

    That dress looks great. I’m so glad we saw it together.

  2. admin
    April 21st, 2009 @ 1:08 pm

    Okay, when I checked the BMI for 150 and 5′6″, I was just pushing the “normal weight” range. I might be 5′7″. I tell people I’m 5′7″

  3. MeaganKate
    April 21st, 2009 @ 1:12 pm

    Ummmm … two things:

    1. You are a skinny mini.
    2. I can’t see this dress well enough, and I wanted to see your body in this miracle dress. I suppose I will have to wait until tomorrow. BOO!

  4. admin
    April 21st, 2009 @ 1:19 pm

    I’m saying the BMI thing thinks I’m fat. Because it’s totally ridiculous. Yesterday alone I biked 12 miles with a toddler in a trailer in the back. I’m not overweight.

  5. Nathalie
    April 21st, 2009 @ 1:21 pm

    Those shoes are so lovely. Like you. And over weight is the last word I would use to describe you. And I also make cat noises when I’m trying to be sexy on camera. Gets Jacob pre-tty excited too.

  6. k8
    April 21st, 2009 @ 2:54 pm

    I wear heels even when I know I will fall down. Because they make me feel so sexy. The falling? That’s sexy, too. Or so I tell myself because I won’t give up wearing heels.

    And my BMI tells me I’m overweight and I think I look just fine thankyouverymuch.

    Not to mention that I’ve recently lost 14 pounds or anything.

  7. Robert
    April 21st, 2009 @ 3:10 pm

    These poses are way better than any other fashion pose that some fashion person in the fashion industry can fashion! GOOD WORK

  8. ken
    April 21st, 2009 @ 3:33 pm

    i like the dress, even though these pics are waytoofuckingsmall

  9. V.
    April 21st, 2009 @ 4:40 pm

    You put the “you” in beautiful. (And look at that lovely bookcase!)

  10. Crissy
    April 22nd, 2009 @ 10:52 am

    Do you think the dress will make me look skinny too???

    Can you send it to me when you’re done?

  11. Racquel Valencia
    April 22nd, 2009 @ 11:06 am

    If there’s anything I’ve learned from ANTM, it’s that standing pigeon-toed with your back in an homage to Quasimodo is the epitome of high fashion. Bonus points for smiling with your eyes.

    Actually, if you even know or care about what “smiling with your eyes” means, you probably have bigger problems than a dress can fix.

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