Cougar
Posted on | April 7, 2009 | 18 Comments
I just want to say god bless American slang. Because as I was thinking about having a baby, MILF* was on the rise and that term pretty much became the deciding factor. And then in my early thirties Cougar entered American slang and all I have to say is fuck yes. As if a 20 year old girl could know a thing about sex. As if I knew a thing about it in my 20’s. I knew nothing. NOTHING. (Sorry, I’ve been watching some BBC historical dramas.)
*Please click here for, perhaps, the finest essay on MILFs ever written. Also hot pictures of Crissy, Kiala and me ALL IN ONE SPOT.
Well, my Cougarness was totally ignited at the Fred Meyer the other day. In the cookie aisle. Where I was reacquainted with one of my most favorite cookies:
The Little Schoolboy.
A butter biscuit with a hard, dark chocolate rectangle on top.
Oh god. It does not get better.
And they were on sale. I know!
I dip them in tea and then let the buttery biscuity cookie and deep dark chocolate melt in my mouth and then I rest my head on the table because those little school boys are just that good. Better than those undergrad school boys in my grad school days who ran track in tiny shorts in the hot California sun. God bless cross country. Someone should write about book about cross country runners. Oh wait.
In any case, I know no one is reading this post anymore because you’re all over at Ken’s place doing god knows what so I could just say whatever I like here.
Poo.
Here were the cookies underneath the little schoolboys
The moral: Cougars rule.
Ken, any thoughts?
Tags: chocolate > cookies > cougars > little schoolboys
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18 Responses to “Cougar”
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April 7th, 2009 @ 9:01 am
I want to be a MILF to someone other than MR. Perfectly. I mean not to ACT on it, but I wish people THOUGHT it.
pout.
April 7th, 2009 @ 9:01 am
this post is awesome.
first, the multiple shout outs
second, the cougars are underneath the schoolboys. not that those wily women couldn’t handle the top, but they choose to let the schoolboys demonstrate the vigor and stamina they’re so well-known for, only exerting their wit and wisdom to reign in the overzealous giddiness now and then…
third, did i mention i got me some of the good stuff this very morning?
April 7th, 2009 @ 9:44 am
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a second.
I thought Cougars were older Milfs? I don’t think I’m ready to be a Cougar yet. I still want to be a milf.
Can I still be a milf please?
Can I be both?
Help me.
PS: I forgot all about Ken’s milf treatise. He’s so wicked smot.
April 7th, 2009 @ 9:45 am
PS: Those cookies really are the best things ever.
April 7th, 2009 @ 10:20 am
if i may add a clarification:
from my reading of the texts, a “cougar” is a woman who demonstrates some level of initiative and agressiveness. the “milf,” by contrast, need not display these trait.
unlike cougar-ness, being a milf requires neither action nor intent, and is in that respect a more passive moniker.
also, the cougar, unlike the milf, has no requirement to be a mother (although they usually are).
April 7th, 2009 @ 10:40 am
How about this – the oldest woman I’ve had sex with was only one year older than me. It’s just not fair. Maybe this has something to do with me being immature?
April 7th, 2009 @ 11:05 am
So if I never get to be a mother and I’m not old enough to be a cougar, what do I get to be? Seriously.
April 7th, 2009 @ 11:33 am
Here’s what I’m saying: we are not cougars yet. We’re still MILFs or hot chicks (for those with no kids) but we will all be cougars in time. This makes me feel a lot better, like it’s totally acceptable to still be working it when I’m…uh…aged to perfection.
April 7th, 2009 @ 11:33 am
OMG that is hilarious! I love those cookies too and just last year was the first time I heard the term cooger, which was being directed at me. It was not necessarily because I was aggressive, but just because I was older than the boy. Good times. I guess the employees at Freddies have a sense of humor. I can’t believe that was unintentional. Thanks for giving me a laugh first thing in the morning.
April 7th, 2009 @ 12:50 pm
Say “I want a Little Schoolboy” in a Koko Taylor voice if you really want a power surge.
April 7th, 2009 @ 1:47 pm
Those are also MY favorite cookies, which is probably why we are friends. That and because we hang on my couch watching Coyote Ugly and *working*
Could I be a leopard or one of those black cat things, I don’t remember their names but I think they run really fast and there may be a car named after them?
Ken?
April 7th, 2009 @ 1:54 pm
Did you notice I used “they/there/their” in one sentence?
April 7th, 2009 @ 3:33 pm
a black panther/leopard?
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/5e/Blackleopard.JPG
April 7th, 2009 @ 4:50 pm
Oh. Okay. Good.
We’ll be cougars some day but just not yet. Thank heavens. Ken called my friend Michele a cougar on her 40th birthday and I thought she was going to cry.
She was all, “shut the fuck up Ken! I’m still a milf!”
April 7th, 2009 @ 4:51 pm
The hell is Kiala today?
April 7th, 2009 @ 4:52 pm
I have no idea where Kiala is today? Let’s go over to her blog and knock at the door.
April 11th, 2009 @ 11:40 pm
Relating to your “Cougarness,” here’s a poem by Jack Gilbert called “Older Women.” I didn’t get it at first, but as I think about it in relation to the title, it’s starting to make more sense.
Each farmer on the island conceals
his hive far up on the mountain,
knowing it will otherwise be plundered.
When they die, or can no longer make
the hard climb, the lost combs year
after year grow heavier with honey.
And the sweetness has more and more
acutely the taste of that wilderness.
April 24th, 2009 @ 3:30 pm
I totally know which BBC historical drama you were watching. Why? Because I watched it. And then I bought it. And watched it again.
Thoughts:
1. I still don’t know what a cougar is.
2. Lu’s Le Petit Ecolier ROCK MY WORLD, it’s true…but have you had thier Pim’s Raspberry Cookies? Oh. My. Gawd. There’s an orange version too. http://www.lubiscuits.com/varieties.html