The Melissa Lion International* Superiority Smugacity Self-Improvement Challenge
by melissalion
18 comments
The Melissa Lion International* Superiority Smugacity Self-Improvement Challenge
Good day, Fan Club.
This week, or at least for the next two days, I will be hosting the Melissa Lion International* Superiority Smugacity Self-Improvement Challenge. For the next five (or two depending on my gnat-like attention span) days, I will challenge you to improve yourself using methods I am using to improve myself so that you too can look down upon those around you like I, Melissa Lion, do every single day. It’s a wee Mobius strip of narcissism, isn’t it?
We will do things all week (or for two days) that will improve your health, save you money and, best of all, make you better than other people.
Today’s challenge: cook something from scratch that you would ordinarily buy pre-made. Maybe it’s your morning coffee at Starbucks, or that breakfast bar from Starbucks. Or a muffin from Starbucks. Basically, stuff you buy at Starbucks is like 100% more expensive than anything you could make at home. Maybe you don’t go to Starbucks. Then insert whatever indie coffee shop you go to because it makes you superior to Starbucks denizens. (Good on you for taking superiority steps before I’ve instructed you to do so.)
Not to mention the fat in those Starbucks bits — gah.
Or if you’re not a sweet treat person, you could make your own salad dressing (extra virgin olive oil, balsamic vinegar, pinch of salt, pinch of pepper) or put some popcorn in a paper bag with a bit of oil (don’t forget to roll the top down a few times) and put it in the microwave for 3 minutes or until you hear the popping slow to 1 pop a second.
Remember if you need to purchase any ingredients, do it in the bulk food aisle where it’s easier to “mislabel” the organic as regular so much cheaper.
So, for day one of the Melissa Lion International* Superiority Smugacity Self-Improvement Challege, I made granola from scratch. Oh my god, this is the easiest thing ever. I bought all of the ingredients in the bulk aisle and my homemade granola is not full of the scary stuff that store bought granola is usually full of. Like fat. And have you see how expensive granola is? It’s like we’re paying for young men and women in uniforms to fly to a foreign land and kill other young men in uniforms and women in burkahs for granola rights or something. Blood money. Granola blood money! You hear me Kellogg’s?!? I’M DECLARING A GRANOLA JIHAD ON YOUR ASSES!
WHO’S WITH ME?!?
Or maybe just make some bread.
If you need a recipe and going to epicurious and typing in whatever it is you’re looking for is unsatisfactory, email me and I’ll send you a recipe. (Contact form on the Who’s That Girl page. Yes, I’m a little bit paranoid about my email address. Forgive me, I had a dream last night in which people I do not wish to have contact with had contact with me and I didn’t fancy it. At all.)
Onwards, Fan Club! I command you to go forth and be SUPERIOR! Don’t forget to post about it on your own blog and send me a link! Or just leave a comment. Or keep your superiority to yourself, but what fun is that?!?
Granola with dried cranberries, pecans, oat bran, freshly grated nutmeg and a pinch of cardamom. I followed the basic instructions for Homemade Granola from Baked, my favorite cookbook of 2008.
*I have a Canadian reader.
Also, will someone please send me $520 American dollars so I can buy this. Found via GalaDarling.
Um, yes, I have answered your challenge for today as well. Check me out! I am feeling all high and mighty, yes I am.
In about an hour I’m going to do a 105 minute Baptiste Vinyasa Power Yoga class which will elevate me to like a Fifth Level Superior Being Class. If anyone even attempts to look me directly in the eyes today, I will smite them.
if I already do that do I get to feel extra super smug? Cause I am totally feeling really smug. Add that to my calling the police on white station wagon asshat and I’m freaking queen of something.
See you Friday (wear jammies)
That necklace is $520??? What the fuck???
I don’t understand “art.”
I was just about to eat a granola bar.
I’d love to make some of my own, but my stove doesn’t work.
I thought Chris didn’t click on links.
Oh SNAP.
Hi Melissa,
Thanks for coming by bes. Very cool. I read a lot of YA and like I said most of it is realistic fiction. If you took the time to comment, I can certainly take time to read your book. Unlike many of the reviewers though, I’m neither a speed reader nor a regular reviewer. I’m a woman with too many projects like running a youth lit group and a library, I’m a mom and I work full-time. Anyhoo, this week I’m visiting my daughter in San Diego (laughed when I read your header), when I get home, I’ll pluck Swollen from my tbr pile.
My first time to your blog. I’ll be back. You have a wicked sense of humor.
Crissy: I saw that recipe and I’m going to try it. But I’m going to swap out the oil to butter. And I need to make some applesauce. From the apples I picked and froze. Wassup!
Bold: Mmmm soup. And what’s up with that snow? I fear it.
KK: You should go and stare down assholes at the dog park.
Cami: Sexxxy jammies? Or hanging out with girlfriends and oops we got into a pillow fight jammies?
Apollo: See? Responding.
LW: Maybe make an apple with peanut butter.
KK: I know, right! I just like reading you write SNAP.
Susan: Thank you.
*Note to everyone– see, I’m actually a writer person with book type things published!*
OHHHHH…….Superiority!! I love feeling superior!! I already make my own coffee (which would be tea if I were making it for you). Well, that sort of isn’t true. My husband makes me coffee every morning. THAT makes me feel superior to have an awesome husband that does stuff for me.
Um….let’s see……..I do cook homemade stuff, but not of late. I’ve been SICK……..Mr. P made avocado quesadillas for my dinner tonight. I feel superior for eating them. Then I felt like I sucked because they were too spicy for my delicate palate (and I am superior because I know how to spell AND pronounce quesadilla……………unlike people I work with who call it aQWESADILLA..**pronouncing the ‘l’s’)
Um……so I will take your challenge and find things that make me feel SUPERIOR to other humans. Or canines.
I will ALSO try to blog about them.
Oh, I’m watching Antiques Roadshow, getting my fix of antique culture.
Hmmmm… does it count if today is usually the night that we eat out and we made dinner and the boyo gave me the run down on what a great meal he made, all gourmet and shit AND we still had stuff left over for other meals???? ANNNDDD it was cheaper than what we usually spend???
Can I feel superior for that?
Also, it’s not that I don’t get jewelery/art and I do have friends that make jewelry/art that I try to support/ buy… but… but… for $525 I could get those Pradas I want. I’d send you (or contribute) money for that… yeah… in a New York minute!
[...] to be her! Oh happy day! If you think you’re up to the task, my pretties, take a shot at The Melissa Lion International* Superiority Smugacity Self-Improvement Challenge. I’m making chai. From [...]
I miraculously made homemade pasta sauce from some leftover vermouth, frozen bell peppers, garlic, olive oil and sad looking onions. And it rocked the house. Superior——->me.
I click on links of bloggers that I love.
I made HOME MADE CHAI*.
Well. Sorta. I mean, I opened the carton, added some milk, nuked it and VOILA. Good bye starbucks!
*Actually I do have a recipe for honest to goodness homemade chai, given to me by a dear friend. The title is “Chai: Make you Strong Like Yak.” I’ll try that next. 
I mixed my own vodka cranberries last night. That is something.
Tonight I will make my own crack from cocaine.
Why don’t I feel superior yet?
I made oatmeal – the slow cooked kind, not instant – which is kinda like, amazing for me.
Baked Almond Parmesan Chicken Fingers. Coming to a blog http://www.basementcook.blogspot.com near you.
OMG!!!
I’ve already done this today! I had a muffin I made from scratch (that Glorious Morning or Morning Glory recipe I sent you?) and AND!!!! in the fridge defrosting right now is an Eggplant Parmesean that I made this summer using vegetables from my garden!!!
Check THAT shit out!!!