Recovering Californian

Actualizing narrative since 2009, or 1975 depending on how you look at it.

West Coast Represent!

Posted on | January 15, 2009 | 7 Comments

Jesus, Internet. Crissy just killed today. Killed.

And I can think of nothing funny to write. NOTHING.

I will leave you with these thoughts, I was walking once and trying to impress a guy with how sexxxy I am and funny and lovely and smart, and I tripped over a fire hydrant. Totally tripped. Hit the thing dead on and tripped over it.

I’ve walked into dozens of poles and the white walls of my house are a gentle gray right at the height of my upper arms because I walk into them all the time. I woke today with a huge bruise on the outside of my thigh and I can only think it’s from my bike ride yesterday — you work that one out.

When my ex-husband taught me to surf, I wound up in the ER with a social worker taking notes and ostracizing my husband, because she found it so implausible that a surfboard could land on its edge right on my throat.

When I was trying to impress Steve and we were working together at a bookstore, I walked around for a solid three months with a huge black bruise on the inside of my upper right arm because every time I passed Steve, I’d nail my arm on this one particular corner of a bookcase in the kids’ section.

And this week, I’m thinking of taking a ballet class.

You’ll all keep your cell phones on hand with 9-1 dialed and your finger on the final 1, right?

Category: the curtains match the carpet

Comments

7 Responses to “West Coast Represent!”

  1. k8
    January 15th, 2009 @ 11:49 am

    Oh! You’re just like me! I can trip or fall over anything immobile. Every time! You TAKE that ballet class, girlie!

  2. ken
    January 15th, 2009 @ 12:46 pm

    Behind every great woman, there is a great man.

  3. Nathalie
    January 15th, 2009 @ 4:13 pm

    My ballet teacher told my parents that they were wasting their money. I was seven. Go take the class for clumsy women everywhere.

  4. Kiala
    January 15th, 2009 @ 6:22 pm

    I BELIEVE IN YOU MELISSA LION.

  5. apollocreed
    January 16th, 2009 @ 12:16 pm

    This might be the last post we ever get from you.

  6. Ken
    January 16th, 2009 @ 1:07 pm

    Ballet class? I want pointe shoes soooooo badly (did I spell pointe right or is it just point?). But mostly, I want to take tap. There is tap in my heart Melissa Lion.

    Good luck with your dancing. Maybe we can have a cross country dance recital thing.

    Oh, and um thank you.

  7. Crissy
    January 16th, 2009 @ 1:08 pm

    Shit.

    That was me. Ken doesn’t want to take tap. How GAY would that be if he did though right???

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