Things That Are Making Me Not Jump Off the St. John’s Bridge

Still having some sadds. I haven’t actually seen the sun since I left San Diego and Steve had been taking my car to work, and I’d been riding my bike. Except four days ago when I was riding and my back tire burst. I have an internal derailluer on my bike and I am a handy person, but not that handy so I couldn’t change it. So I’ve been bikeless. And carless. And I’m fairly sure I’ve stepped into Bladerunner.

So for today’s blog, I’m going to focus on thing that are making me happy in my girl parts.

1) Nancy Rommelman

Met her for the first time yesterday afternoon, which is crazy because I think we’ve got like 75 friends in common. I call myself a professional writer, but compared to Nancy, I’m writing Casual Encounters ads on Craigslist (Attractive 98 pound, 22 year old white brunette seeks a big Asian daddy to finish her hardwood floors and recaulk her bathroom. Or play with her joystick. Or whatever.) Anyway, Nancy’s got a great blog and was so fabulous in person. Plus she can hold a thoughtful conversation on leggings, and that, my friends, is pretty much all I’m looking for. (Attractive MILF seeks other women to discuss leggings — with panties or without, better with boots?, what length dress can we wear with them?)

[Also, I'd like to apologize for this post because I'm writing it on Steve's computer, which is a PC and I'm finding it hard to be funny what with a mouse with two buttons and everything.]

2. Girasole

I’m going to knit this. Now I know I’ve gotten a lot of knitting requests lately. Shelly’s dog’s sweater, a baby gift for Taco so he doesn’t freeze to death while his parents are drinking gin and tonics at 10am and filming porn in the basement. I have cast on for something for Taco, and it’s not Girasole. It’s not Girasole because I went to the yarn store yesterday and picked out my yarn for the project. I did not buy it because it will be $160. The yarn is Blue Moon Fiber Arts Peru in Sand. That’s an alpaca, merino, silk blend. Holy Jeeburs. I love Taco, and I know that alpaca is too rough for him to barf upon. That little dude will only upchuck on cashmere.

So, what I need from you, internet, for me to knit the Girasole and not jump off the St. John’s bridge and continue on blogging daily FOR YOUR PLEASURE, is for all of you to send me two American dollars. And then I’ll have $158 and I can cover the rest. It’s a lot like that time I responded to the Arabian prince who emailed me about the twenty thousandish rupees he had stashed in a Belgium bank account and if I’d only send him four hundred dollars, he’d pay me back with hashish and four hundred and one pesos and then I’D BE RICH. It’s like that. Except I’m not an Arabian prince, but I will be if you send me two dollars and ask real nice.

3. My bike is getting fixed today.

And that’s it, internet. I can’t stand this PC anymore. What things are making you not commit hari kari today?