Dear Internet,
Posted on | December 19, 2008 | 7 Comments
I love you. Have I told you all that lately? That you all remind me of love and soft pillows and snuggles? Have I mentioned that I want to stare intensely into your eyes and hear all of your stories because YOU ARE FASCINATING. I love you, internet. I love you Fan Club. I love all of you and I love life and things and you know what you remind me of? Panty shopping with Brad Pitt where I put on a pair of low slung black panties and stockings and a pretty demi cup bra and Brad smacks my ass and tells me I’m irresistible. That’s how you make me feel, Internet. I wish you were all here so I could break my *NO PHYSICAL AFFECTION* rule and hug all of you and stroke your skin gently because all of you have velvet-like skin. You all are a Jane Austen book, knitting and whipped cream. You are black sunglass with dark lenses. You are my banana frye boots. You feel like that time I did not smoke some stuff and then put on my favorite jeans and got into a car where I sat on a seat that had a seat warmer on. You’re a scalp massage and a foot massage at once. You are delicious. And fabulous. I love you.
I’m in California now. Here’s my office today.
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7 Responses to “Dear Internet,”
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December 19th, 2008 @ 4:19 pm
how long will you be in cali? will I see you? Will I see archie? When will you see the glorious socks I knit for my boyfriend? (okay almost knit since I’m not quite finished yet…turning second hell,heel whatever).
xo
andie
December 19th, 2008 @ 5:38 pm
We’re expecting 14 inches of snow tomorrow. That’s over a foot.
I didn’t answer my phone when you called me today because I was in the Seventh Circle Of Hell.
After that followed Target, Marshall’s, and Joes. You don’t want to talk to me right now but please know that I love you and will miss you desperately.
December 19th, 2008 @ 7:38 pm
Must be southern Cal because it’s rainy and nasty up here in the Bay Area.
December 20th, 2008 @ 10:50 am
I am jealous. JEALOUS.
Take pictures of the ocean, please. Hmm..wait. SF has an ocean. I’m totally going there today. I’ll take pictures and then you can be jealous.
Or something.
December 22nd, 2008 @ 8:02 am
I have seat warmers in my car.
And I need them because it’s colder than Santa’s nose here.
I want to be where you are.
December 23rd, 2008 @ 12:34 pm
i AM delicious!
December 23rd, 2008 @ 3:56 pm
Seat warmers make me feel like I just peed my pants.