Do Ya Think I’m Sexy
Posted on | November 21, 2008 | 8 Comments
For the last 24 hours, I’ve been a mouth-breather. You know why? Because I have a cold. It’s the kind of cold where your voice is hoarse and not sexy hoarse, and you need to keep wadded up toilet paper in your pockets for you faucet-nose.
Two nights ago, Steve rolled over to me in bed and tried to cop a feel and I said, “Ibe siiiiiick.” It was so hot, I tell you.
It’s a little like I was flaunting my non-sickiness what with my vowed avoidance of flu shots (they only make you sicker!) and when in the comments on Chris’s post about how you don’t catch cold from washing your hair, I wrote this: “True dat. My throat is sore and I never wash my hair…” It’s true, I don’t wash my hair very often because it’s curly and color-treated as the shampoo bottles always so delicately put it.
But here I am, mouth breathing and swiping at my face with toilet paper. Today I removed Archie’s cloth diapers from his room and now they are called rags and I thought for a long moment about abducting one to use as my faucet-nose wiper. But that’s wrong, right Internet? It’s wrong to use diapers to wipe my nose.
I think. I mean it’s clean. And smells fine. And my son poops roses and gold, just so you know.
I also realize that paragraph number three makes no sense, but whatever. My nose is running and my diaper toilet tissue has reached its maximum density.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2O3Peo2Ozo] I’ve met Rod Stewart. He’s a ponce.
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8 Responses to “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy”
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November 21st, 2008 @ 9:40 am
I love Rod Stewart…not during his feathered-hair, pink suit-wearing phase, though. I liked him in The Faces. Maggie May kills me.
November 21st, 2008 @ 9:49 am
I like Rod Stewart but his son is a douchhole.
You blow your nose on whatever you like. And eat soup. And make people bring you things. Milk that shit for all it’s worth.
November 21st, 2008 @ 9:58 am
Soup and tea. Hot as you can stand it.
And diapers are too thick for my snot blowing. But hey, if you just let it drip, then you’re golden.
November 21st, 2008 @ 10:28 am
I have a cold too on top of all the pregnant nausea and the boobies hurting and all the other bullshit.
Jesus Fuck can’t a girl get a break around here?
I think we need soup and a back massage and a snuggly blanket.
Sniffle.
November 21st, 2008 @ 10:30 am
have some lovely tea and feel better… When I’m sick I let K watch way more tv than is called for and I rest…
November 21st, 2008 @ 10:44 am
If he poops gold you should cash some of that shit in. Pun intended.
November 21st, 2008 @ 10:51 am
diapers make great hankies!
did you use ONLY cloth diapers on arch?? congratufuckinglations if you did.
i think sick sex is hot.
November 22nd, 2008 @ 10:12 am
NOW I know the answer to this tweet: http://twitter.com/mediaChick/status/1017683690
Thanks. A. Lot.
PS Rod Stewart is icky.