Adventures in Customer Service
Posted on | October 17, 2008 | 10 Comments
Over the past few days I’ve had the pleasure of dealing with customer service people over the telephone. One time that pleasure was ironic, the other time it was actually a pleasure.
So I canceled my account with a cell phone company that rhymes with Squint. I was their customer for four long years. FOUR LONG YEARS. And two weeks after I canceled, I received a letter from a collection agency saying my last bill was now in their charge and I was to pay it through them. This was a bill that I had not even received but there I was in collection. According to the letter it was because I had canceled my account with Squint.
I paid my bill as I always did and I thought that because my number had been ported to a different carrier and Steve’s number, when you called it said, “This number has been disconnected” and because I had spoken to the cancellation department to cancel my account and had the letter from the nice collection agency that my account had been, in fact, canceled.
Not so!
I got a bill in the mail for $150 from Squint. I called them and asked what was going on. Well, no, in fact my account was not canceled and all of that other stuff was just my imagination and the billing department couldn’t help me at all because it was a legit bill.
I might have lost it.
I might have told the gentleman on the other end of the line “to look up active in the dictionary and tell me if that seemed to match my experience.” I also told him to repeat after me: “THE. NUMBER. HAS. BEEN. DISCONNECTED.” He was from the south and about an hour into the call I said, “do you not understand what I’m saying because I’m from the west coast and perhaps I’m not down home enough. MAYBE IF I DROPPED MY G’S AND ADDED A FEW DOGGONE-ITS YOU’D UNDERSTAND.” He was the manager and he told me he couldn’t do anything for me. And I said, “They made you a manager. Does it feel bad to you that you can’t do anything? That must feel bad.”
I told him to put me through to someone who can do something. And finally, after an hour and a half, someone agreed that charging me for something that doesn’t work might be amoral and perhaps that bill should go away.
Contrast this with my experience yesterday with Zappos.com. My mommy bought me two pairs of Frye boots through Zappos and it was a complicated order for a few reasons, some on my end, some on theirs. It was just a mess, but we were all being patient but I wanted my boots for Strange Love Live tonight and Zappos dropped the ball a tiny bit. I wouldn’t have minded, but I WANTED MY BOOTS!
Well, the CEO of Customer Loyalty for Zappos follows me on Twitter, so I decided to DM him and see what was happening. I don’t know what I expected. I sent him my email address and thought he might email me or whatever. I had no expectations and frankly the order was a mess on everyone’s end and all I could do was just wait it out and trust that it would unravel itself.
Ten minutes later I got a call from George, the CEO. His first words were, “your order has shipped.” Cool! And he was going to try to get them to me before my Strange Love Live broadcast. Yes, because I plan to show them off if I get them in time. I’m going to wear the banana Frye Campus boots, just so you know. George said he’d checked out my blog and it was “cool.” He didn’t say brilliant or genius, but I can forgive that, I suppose. (I thought the milfy email thing was funny, but whatever.)
So now it’s just up to the shipping gods to get me my boots before tonight at 10 when I go live on Strange Love Live.
Fingers crossed and nice work on Zappos.com’s part. Cool beans.
And Squint — go suck it, assmunches.
[Private message to Robert in Austin: The ladies is bizarre because the mens make us so.]
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10 Responses to “Adventures in Customer Service”
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October 17th, 2008 @ 9:32 am
wow.
sounds like a thumbs up for zappos. if the boots get there in time it’s TWO thumbs up.
squint can go fuck themselves. i only pay for one cell phone (crissy’s) and it’s with virgin. of course!
those look like cool boots. shitkickers, almost. i like the utilitarian look!
October 17th, 2008 @ 10:21 am
Squint sucks ass. Squint has lost you and me both forever.
Those boots look awesome, though they are definitely Strange Love Live boots and not Fuck Me boots, and it seems that in this case the two might intersect well.
I think that Ken meant to say that his cell account is with Sturgeon.
October 17th, 2008 @ 11:48 am
Ooooo I hope they get there in time! You needs em!
Good luck!
October 17th, 2008 @ 11:48 am
And post a video if you can!
October 17th, 2008 @ 12:22 pm
Yes, I want to see what you wear the boots with. I would go with grey tights and a dress or skirt situation. Or I would wear them with skinny jeans because I am a seventeen year old girl.
October 17th, 2008 @ 3:20 pm
I once dated the Old Squint PCS guy. They fired him–that’s probably why Squint Sucks Donkey Dick now. His name was Brian. Still is I suppose. I have a letter that he wrote to me once from college. Not that anyone cares, I just thought I’d share.
October 17th, 2008 @ 4:46 pm
The boots are adorable – I’m glad you got them in time!
October 18th, 2008 @ 10:08 am
huh??????
October 18th, 2008 @ 11:52 am
Wish I had me some new boots. Missed SLL last night but will catch the rerun this week. Ws it saucy? Thanks for the props on previous post. -T
October 19th, 2008 @ 9:01 pm
The satisfaction of cursing out the phone company until you get what you want is pure warmth. It can make you glow.