Social Networking
Posted on | April 29, 2008 | 12 Comments
I’ve written about social networking websites a few times on my blog. Basically, I don’t get them. And to catch up my new readers, I’m not on Face Book or MySpace because I just don’t get it. I am on Linked In (where I have one friend) and Twitter (which I haven’t updated in a month) and Good Reads (which I might firebomb because I find the cliquishness to be repellent but I can’t exactly delete myself from a social website about books, for obvious reasons) and Ravelry (a knitting social network site!). And if you want to social network with me on any of these things, I’m always Melissa Lion or melissalion. By the way, my .mac email address is about to expire, so if you have that email, drop me a line so I can tell you my new address.
I do, however, have an alter ego on Face Book because while I did not want my own name on there, I wanted do a wee bit of cyber stalking. But as it goes with me and social networking sites, I sat down to do my cyber stalking only to enter a name and not find the person, and then I gave up, preferring that reliable stalking workhorse — Google. Truth is, I just can’t sort through three zillion Persian boys looking for the one I want to stalk.
But yesterday I was cyber stalking reading my ex-husband’s blog and one of his commenters — another Melissa (how many of us does he know?!?) said something like, oooooh look how hottttt you’re Facebook pge is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No, she said hey, look how great you look. I just like to act like everyone on Face Book communicates with the inappropriate amount of vowels, consonants and punctuation marks. And the incorrect version of your. Your = possessive. You’re = You are. And while I’m at it: its = possessive. It’s = it is. Whose= possessive. Who’s = who is.
So as fast as my comcast cable internet would take me, I leaped over to Face Book to check out the profile. I logged in as my alter ego and had to deep breathe as I tried to hunt him down. It took me three searches and several trips to other blogs before I could muster up the patience to scroll through the people who came up. And why the fuck can’t you add descriptive words to the search? Like surf and boards and surfboards? Because that would really help speed up my cyber stalking.
I found him and clicked on his profile, but you have to be friends to see his pictures. What the hell? I could see his friends, including his girlfriend who has no picture but an image of a shiksa or a shiva or whatever that Indian lady with the 75 arms is called. How do I know she’s his girlfriend? Well, because he was interviewed for his local paper and he mentioned her first name, which I then took to Google and searched with their town and because Google is way more awesome than any networking website, I found her last name too. And the college she graduated from. Spoooooky.
You know, all I was looking for was a picture of her and of him and of their house and of their couch because he took our awesome tiki couch and half of my Fiestaware and hey, RL, do you have it? Are you using it? I hope so, because if you gave that stuff away because you moved to a different country, well, then I’ll be slightly mad, but not mad enough to actually feel any anger because there are other things that I spend time dwelling on like my general anger at inflatable things and people leaving white paper on dashboards.
Anyway, I’d thought I’d hit picture pay dirt with Face Book and I. DID. NOT.
So here’s my point. What the hell good is Face Book if I can’t use it to spy on people?
Oh, and I know I need a Face Book page because I’m an author or something. And my super-cool project needs a Face Book page because we’re cool and all about networking. But my super cool project has a goodreads page. Why can’t that be enough? Why do I need to be on a website populated by college students named Hot Margarita, and Sexxy Bitch. I blame the dumbing down of America!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tags: being divorced is dope > Cyber stalking > what the fuck is up with Facebook?
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12 Responses to “Social Networking”
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April 29th, 2008 @ 7:38 am
And while I’m at it: its = possessive. It’s = it is.
this was directed at me, wasn’t it? Well, I’m sorry. I try to write well but this is something that I always fuck up and Ari wants to cut my throat because of it.
We can’t all be an Amazing And Brilliant Author like you.
Some of us are just Average And Untalented Bloggers.
Your still my favorite though.
April 29th, 2008 @ 7:58 am
No way! That wasn’t to you. Untalented…pishaw.
It was not directed to anyone, except the 69 million people on MySpace.
Kiss kiss, making up now!
April 29th, 2008 @ 9:14 am
Stay away from FaceBook, MySpace and the rest of those silly nonsense networking b.s. things. They’re (or is it their? or maybe there?) not for you. Surely.
And here’s my favorite confused pair:
everyday and every day. Seems people do not have any idea about these two. (or is it too? or to?)
Harrumph.
April 29th, 2008 @ 9:16 am
Oh – I know, I was joking. I’m soooo talented!
April 29th, 2008 @ 9:25 am
I cannot stand it when people fuck up and confuse words.
I get fired up when they don’t know the difference between two, too, and to.
Ugh!
It really burns my butt.
April 29th, 2008 @ 9:26 am
And I hate facebook. I’m only there because my husband made me do it.
Anything for the blog!
April 29th, 2008 @ 10:03 am
I fuck up who’s and whose all the time. And then I want to kill myself.
Your the one whose awesome!!! cuz your not on facbook cuz its not rad enymor.
April 29th, 2008 @ 11:10 am
Online stalking is bad! It will only leave you with that punched in the gut feeling! Resist! Don’t do it!
April 29th, 2008 @ 12:38 pm
I enjoy using Facebook for its intended purpose. It is a great way to keep up with people you don’t normally call on the phone or email. It is designed to make stalking hard. I think that is a good thing.
April 29th, 2008 @ 2:35 pm
I’m with Kristin, its all about the blog. Otherwise I probably wouldn’t bother.
April 30th, 2008 @ 4:13 am
i don’t know what this “cyberstalking” thing you speak of is.
i DO know how to ferret out information about someone via the internet, however.
it is one of the first things i intend to teach my daughter.
April 30th, 2008 @ 8:50 am
I want to be friends with you on Goodreads, but I can’t remember my user name. I’ll have to work on that.