Grapefruit Fizz
Posted on | July 1, 2009 | 10 Comments
Holy jeeburs, people. Fancyhats and I had the most delicious drink of all time last night. I know you’re all looking for your summer drink, and I HAVE FOUND IT.
We ate some salad (fiber = blerg) at Pizza Fino last night and enjoyed their grapefruit fizz. Two of them, actually. I mean, we both had two, and then I licked the inside of my glass because it was either that, or weep bitter tears of loss. And I would have taken a picture, but Fancyhats left his mePhone at home. He did it on purpose, even.
I was standing at the door while he checked twitter one last time punched bad guys in the face and the reroofed the house and he turned to me and said, “I’m leaving my mePhone at home.”
And I said, “HOLY GOD HOW WILL THE INTERNET KNOW WHAT WE’RE DOING? HOW WILL IT KNOW THAT I AM FABULOUS?!?” “Okay.”
And we left with only my $10 Nokia phone. I know. I KNOW.
So the drink. It’s prosecco with some grapefruit bitters, a sugar cube and a twist of grapefuit rind. Served in a champagne flute. Um. Hello, awesome.
Please note, you can make grapefruit bitters at home. Please note note that that link link (I’ll stop) goes to a blog based in Portland. Yes, of course, the first google link for grapefruit bitters is a post about making it from scratch from a blog in Portland. Oh Portland, you with your DIY-ness and fancy drinkie-ness, I just want to squish your wittle cheeky weekies.
The Life Cleanse
Posted on | June 30, 2009 | 8 Comments
Painting party after July 21st. And that’s a good new life thing, is it not? Who’s coming over? I’ll provide beer and pizza. And paint and brushes. I have no specific date for this party, but you know, just come on by but not from the 23-25 when I’ll be SPEAKING at Blogher.
Yesterday as part of my new life, I started getting rid of all the clothes that make me feel fat. Or that I bought after my pregnancy because I couldn’t fit into my old pre-pregnancy clothes. Some clothes I still can’t fit into. My boobs are bigger now and my ribcage never went back to its original size. But I just don’t want to wear size 10 jeans. And if I put on enough weight that I need to move up to a size 10, then instead of buying those jeans, I’ll just bike and cut back on the hamburgers and beer and fit into my size 8’s.
I’m on the ebb of my yearly weight, with summer here I’ll ride my bike every day and as it gets warmer, salads and small meals sound better. Plus I’m doing a high fiber thing these days to help the weight loss a bit. I still have no scale and the last time I weighed myself I was at 150. So whatever. I have no idea what my ideal weight is. I know that when I bike a lot I get pretty firm all over. Not skinny at all, just firm. Makes me feel stronger mentally and physically.
Back to the clothes. I got rid of the clothes for a few reasons. The first is that they made me feel bad. Not too bad, but bad enough that I wasn’t 100% focused on the day. I had a small part of me that felt crappy. I don’t want to live that way anymore. I want to focus on the day and my son, the amazing people in my life. My career, my projects, myself. I want to look at Portland, and not inside at stupid things that feel bad about myself.
I truly do love this city. I love all the trees and when I lose focus on the small moments beauty here, I’m just wasting my fucking time, you know?
Also, Fancyhats (that’s the new boy’s name) makes me feel beautiful. He sees me as beautiful. Since meeting him (well, we’ve known each other for a year) but since I’ve been spending time with him, the light I feel inside of me, the one that drives me to do Back Fence and Dinner and a Story and get together with Frayn weekly and daydream about possibilities big and small, is on all the time. He makes me feel that anything is possible. Not just these events we want to do, not just the love I have of entertaining people, giving people an great experience, I feel like I can do anything. So, if I’m feeling this great stuff, why do I want to spend a single day wearing jeans that don’t fit me right? I don’t.
So to Goodwill it is. So far, I have two garbage bags of clothes. TWO GARBAGE BAGS of clothes that made me feel bad. That’s ridiculous. Some of my friends are doing cleanses. They’re watching their food and taking pills to get the crud out. Right now, I’m doing a life cleanse. Getting rid of things that make me feel bad, of things that remind me, still, of the post-partum depression, things that don’t reflect the way I feel inside, of who I am.
V always says, “The universe abhors a vacuum.” I’ve made way for the good stuff and here it comes. Everyday another very great things falls into my lap.
Pretty Pretty!
Posted on | June 29, 2009 | 12 Comments
[Private message to Ben: You did not break my blog, and you will find a lady-friend, I promise. You just need to stop looking! And also make a list of every single quality you want in a person, then stop looking.]
Okay, so I’m officially a single mom! Yay me!
We hear about the plight of the single mom and how hard it is on her, and granted there are things that I’m sure will be very hard, but I’m telling you that two nights of time to myself, to just be alone and to not have to clean up after another adult is just making me so blissed out. To have my own space again and decide, you know what? I want to paint that wall bright yellow because I can. I CAN. Feels so incredibly free!
I’m also in a lot better place than most single moms. My parents will be living in Oregon within the year. My best friend from high school just moved here. I’ve got a ton of dear friends here in Portland and a ton of projects and cool stuff I do, so you know, it’s totally exciting.
And, oddly, though I’m spending a lot of time with Archie, I’ve gotten my energy back about it. We were at the playground and for two days in a row, I actually played with him. I ran around and climbed and chased him and didn’t just sit there with my sunglasses on and knit. I was so excited to see him this morning, it took everything in me not to wake him up earlier.
And I just interruped my precious blogging time, to build A a little fort out of the mattress box.
I’m sure there will be days when I’m totally burned out, but today, the first day of my official single-momdom, I’m all good.
Maybe it’s because I slept so well on my 600-thread count Egyptian cotton sheets.
I got a new bed. Remember my old bed?
Because, right? That seems like a bed a guy would want? Well, that turned out to not be “mine” so I had to get another bed. And that’s actually for the best, because I went to Ikea with this thought: I will find the girliest fucking bed in this store and I will buy it and build it and sleep in it.”
And so I did. Presenting my new bed!
You guys! It’s white enamel. WHITE ENAMEL! Swear to god, I’m never giving up this bed. NEVER. I also bought a memory foam mattress from costco and also those 600-thread count sheets. In cream. I’m going to get new pillows too because now my pillows seem like crap.
I assembled it all myself. Moved the mattress, put the sheets on and then went to bed after a hot shower. I slept, under my heavy covers, with the windows open and it was delightful.
In a few weeks, we’ll have a painting party where we will primer with the mold-killing primer and by August, my house is going to be so beautiful and GIRLIE. Did I mention that my best friend from high school is an interior designer?
Here’s today’s hippy-dippy moral (stop reading here because the irony train has ground to a halt): when you make the right, hard, but right decision, the universe opens every door wide open. Opportunities flow and life becomes so much easier.
New Projects, New Life
Posted on | June 25, 2009 | 6 Comments
I keep calling this my new life. I’m ripping it off from K8, I’ll be honest.
Today the Merc released a little tidbit about the newest Back Fence PDX project. Click here for the details. HOW COOL IS THAT, YOU GUYS?!? On the serious. (See how I’m making you click links?)
So, Back Fence is taking a summer break, but that doesn’t stop us from planning two events in September. We just can’t stop with the events!
What else? Hmmm.
I’m very preoccupied with events and planning events and making fun things happen for people.
My neck is incredibly stiff. Turns out this whole breaking up, starting a new life thing is very stressful and I can’t feel my fingertips because the nerves in my spine are all crunched up.
Archie starts swim lessons next week. That should be interesting. I chose the lessons where Mom does not get in the pool. We’ll see how that goes. My little dude is a velcro child. All about Mommy, so I’m hoping he’ll get in the pool with a stranger, because, right?!!? That seems safe.
Okay, I think that’s it. If you know of any vineyards in the area that want to sponsor the new Back Fence event, do let me know. WINE.
Back Fence=Huge Success!
Posted on | June 23, 2009 | 3 Comments
Seriously everyone. They had to turn away about 30 people. It was sold out. Packed. The storytellers were amazing and it was just so awesome. Check out that cool picture taken by Rich Burroughs. He took photos of the event using something called “film” though I think that one was digital.
Back Fence has another project we’re madly working on. There will be a tiny announcement about it in the Merc this week and I’ll link to it when it’s out. Such a cool project and I can’t wait for you all to see it.
Last week I went out on four nights. I saw a lot of reading-type things. I went to Disjecta and saw Jon Raymond read courtesy of Tin House. They comped me in and that always makes me feel so very fancy. I liked the Disjecta space, but I’m a little confused about the stage. The building itself is a big rectangle with a really cool ceiling, but the stage is set in the middle of the space and it’s a rectangle too. So the long side of the stage is parallel with the long side of the rectangle. I don’t know how to say that better. Essentially the stage divides the room into very unequal quadrants meaning that very few people can be in the audience of whatever is happening on stage.
The sound was quite good and I liked the art gallery, but the art left something to be desired. Oh MFA students, how cute you are (she says as she considers actually framing her MFA and placing it in the restroom for everyone to enjoy). As for the readers, here’s what I think when I see a reading: gawd it wouldn’t take much for that to have been interesting.
I don’t get readings. Authors are not performers so why is this the way authors are expected to market their work? I just don’t get it. I think an interview with an author is more interesting, or maybe just let them talk about why they wrote the book. Or they could do whatever special hidden talent they have, but please. Enough with choosing some portion of the novel that very few people have had the opportunity to read and then reading it without looking up at the audience for upwards of 20 minutes. It’s so blah.
I start to get all fidgity. And my skin gets itchy, and I start noticing the cracks in the walls because HOW MUCH LONGER DO I HAVE TO BE STILL?!?
I have some suggestions for improving readings:
1) let the audience ask the questions, but put a strict rule that no one may ask a question that contains the words: writer and process.
2) let the author interview himself (this could be funny).
3) let the author read from books that she really likes that are not her own.
4) strippers
5) the hidden talent idea from above.
Quasi played at the event too. I liked that there was a band. Next time may I suggest dancing. Or strippers.
Tonight!
Posted on | June 17, 2009 | 1 Comment
Hooray! Back Fence is tonight! It’s our birthday too. And we are so excited.
Plus there are swimsuit models.
Gardening: Some Thoughts
Posted on | June 16, 2009 | 7 Comments
I don’t know. I just…sometimes Portland…I feel so out of it.
Everyone here gardens and normally I’m a total follower with this shit, but now that summer’s here again, I realize that gardening makes me feel a little bit stabby. I’m not good with the learning new stuff especially when like everyone around me is way better at it than I am.
I need to be the best at it. THE BEST. And I am not that at gardening. Because I’m not much of a nurturer. The new guy (we’re still in need of a name, people. Kiala’s suggestion was rejected and Parademaster was too in-joke) is like a real garderner person who knows when to plant stuff and says things to me like, “well, you have to water your tomato plants.” Uh. Hello. I’m from Southern California where water is scarce and so people and plants must suck the moisture from our Starbucks iced drinks.
He’s also from the East Coast and this provides no end of fascinating stuff for me to learn. Like about American history and stuff. Because it turns out that Old Town in San Diego may not be the American historical mecca we were promised in elementary school. He also grew up in a house with a yard and gardens where they grew stuff to eat. I’d like to travel to this “East Coast” and see this “yard” and “garden.” And “house.”
I also had to tell him a few days ago that it’s tract homes, not track homes.
It’s a little like he’s from Mars and I’m from Venus. Someone should write a book!
Anyway, he knows about the gardening and, so far, has not said to me, “You know what? You’re so pretty and sweet and maybe not too bright with the gardening stuff and so why don’t I just do it for you.” Instead he tells me how to do stuff. In a direct manner with little emotion. It’s like he’s trying to teach me something about gardening. TEACH ME SOMETHING.
I don’t know. I just sort of want the weeds to go away and to wake up one morning with lavendar plants everywhere and climbing things and the feeling that if I step inside my magick English garden, I’ll be turned into Lizzie Bennett complete with empire waisted dress. How hard can that be?
If Crissy Can Do It
Posted on | June 15, 2009 | 5 Comments
So, there’s Crissy with not one but two children and one of them is brand new and all bean-like and she’s blogging. I’ve got one kid and that seems like paradise to me at this point because not a day passes that I don’t want to remove my ovaries with a rusty spoon to avoid any future children.
And before you all jump on the tube-tying bandwagon, please note that I have an IUD, only the greatest birth control ever (along with my unwaivering fear of pregnant women and reproduction). I have the Mirena IUD, which, I swear makes me think (for one second) that there might be one single doctor in this world who loves women. I know that’s probably not true because doctors are evil (I have a doctor fear and a fear of heights). BUT someone invented birth control that is put in once and is 99% effective AND it makes my periods go away. I mean the menstruating part. The crazies are still there, as well as the breaking out. GAWD. But the period itself — nada. Or very little like every six months. Hello awesomeness! And I’m not getting fat and having my brain short circuit making me not want sex at all like what happened on this pill, which is, I think, the pill’s magic formula. Make a girl fat and crazy and that’ll shut her knees up tight.
Also, I want you to look at this picture from BikePortland.org. [Did I do that right? PHOTO CREDIT BIKEPORTLAND.ORG. Right? Right?]
The Portland Naked Bike Ride thing was Saturday night. And I did not participate because I believe that a girl (me) looks better in some undergarments than completely naked. And plus, the position you’d have to be on while riding is not the most flattering for a lady who has been preggers before and who nursed. And because it’s called the naked ride, I didn’t think I could wear delicate underbits. But it turns out you can and now I’m in love with this girl. I love you bike lady.
Finally, did you get your Back Fence tickets? Back Fence is taking a break after our June show, so get your fix now. We’ll be back in Fall.
Tags: Mirena IUD > naked bike ride > Portland
Debauchery, Interrupted
Posted on | June 12, 2009 | 10 Comments
Sweet Jesus, Fan Club.
I had a hangover yesterday that lasted the entire day. Through an eggy sandwich, several cups of tea, water, a two hour nap, a hamburger and beer and good times with 4/5 of the Brain Trust, plus an appearance by our new friend Plumpy. By the end, they sent me home because I looked like such shit. And I couldn’t make the words come out of my mouth. I could just stare at the table and beg the waiter for mercy.
Here’s my point, about a year ago I decided that I needed to just say no to the booze. Mainly because I was getting wicked hangovers from just a single drink. And after drinking, I get depressed. AND TODAY IS NO EXCEPTION. Yes, the physical effects of the hangover are gone, but the emotional effects are just starting!
Blerg.
Plus, I need to choose between booze and hamburgers if I’m going to not have an ass the size of a dumptruck, so I’ll choose a hamburger, once a week. I’m also going to eat out less and force the new boy to go grocery shopping so that meals will come from the fridge instead of whatever restaurant is open and we’ve not eaten there before.
The new boy loves the posh restaurants. And much to my pleasure, we’ve had some delicious meals. OMG BIWA! BIWA! But I leave full. FULL. Full of yummy food and wine and dessert and cocktails.
Fan Club, we need to ask the new boy how he’d like to be named on the blog. We could just go with his real name, but some people have things about privacy and whatever. I hope he doesn’t have that because…good luck on the privacy thing when going out with a blogger.
So I’m going to take a little break from all of the excess and ride my bike more, eat more greens and food I’ve made. Drink more water, less whiskey and see how that treats me.
Because this hangover-depression business sucks donkey balls, believe me.
And my birthday was awesome. So fun. Except when we went to the stripclub and some evil person stole Kiala’s wallet. I hate that person. But I am proud to say that a hook up happened at my birthday too, and all my friends were extremely hung over the next day. In other words…success!
Okay, so go get some Back Fence tickets and some other stuff. Or whatever. (Hangovers make me eloquent.)
Yay!
Posted on | June 10, 2009 | 13 Comments
Well, it’s my birthday, and I think 34 is going to be excellent. I was scolded the other day when I (ironically) said my life was boring. My life is not boring. I have a great life. I live in a city I love more than any other. Yes, it’s true. I love Portland better than I love New York, Paris, London and Los Angeles. Combined. (I KNOW, I SAID IT!)
I have the most amazing friends in real life and on the internets. I really couldn’t have known that friendship could be this rewarding, satisfying, exciting and invigorating. I have three women in my life who are my pillars, seriously. Veronique, Kathryn and Kiala (I did that in order of meeting, fairness and all that). I’d never really had true blue best female friends before. Those three ladies taught me that I can be a friend too. They are all always there for me, and teach me every single day what it is to be a friend, a writer, a mother, funny and smart and serious. They are my rocks.
I have an amazing business partner. Frayn and I have been working together for a year now and we were each others’ first business partners. And we just sort of clicked. Sure, we drive each other nuts every once in a while, but working with her is always easy. That’s the best way I can describe our relationship — easy. It’s what I picture a very wonderful marriage to be like. The daily things are simple. The big things are simple. The choices are simple to make. We have a code that we work with. A set of standards we use to make our decisions. It eliminates drama and emotion. Whenever something good happens, we say WE, and whenever we make a mistake, we say WE. And, most importantly, we laugh our asses off when we make a mistake. I feel so lucky that she’s in my life.
Back Fence. Well, what can I say about Back Fence? A year ago, we were building a stage in a space that had no restroom. Now 250 people come to our shows. And enjoy proper plumbing. We’ve had features in all the papers. We have the finest storytellers around. We have a new project in the works. We have the amazing Assistant Nathalie. And Intern Meagan. It is a success.
My mom and my stepdad are the greatest support system on the planet. I remember when my stepdad came into my life. I was 13 and wow that’s a bad age for parents to get divorced. I remember being so angry about the whole thing. And as time has gone on, I thought, wow, my mom is a lucky woman to have such a good man in her life. And for the past few years, I’ve been thinking, I’m the lucky one to have such a good man in my life. My stepdad met a pissed off 13 year old girl who said no shortage of rotten things to him. And he quietly loved me and supported me and taught me amazing stuff (how to catch a fish, for one) all this time. 21 years. God. 21 years of knowing me. And he still loves me! I don’t know how he does it. Really. My mom is a rock. And, like all moms and daughters, we don’t get each other sometimes, and she knows me a little too well, but she always loves me. (And gives her opinion…whether or not I want to hear it.) I couldn’t ask for better parents.
Steve and I continue to be friends. My son has a wonderful dad, and both of those guys make me laugh and drive me nuts in equal measures. I think we will have a full life of parenting and friendship, and I’m so proud that my son will grow up in two rich homes with parents who love him and work together. I hope that he’ll grown up and know that people can love each other in many ways.
I wasn’t going to do this today because it felt too soon, but I’m going to do it anyway. I’m very lucky that there is someone new in my life too. (Okay the break up thing has been happening for a long time, Fan Club. But I just didn’t want to write about it.) I’m very lucky that I pick good guys. All the men in my life have always been really wonderful, kind, loving people. As for this guy, we are still getting to know each other and that is exciting and scary. And even when we aren’t on the phone or near him, I feel him pushing me. I feel him whispering in my ear, “You go do that. Go on. Do it.” It is a new feeling. And invaluable.
More than a year ago, my mom sent me a little dainty gold birdie necklace. It came with a little story as these things are wont to do. The story was something about wishes and dreams and being brave. It came at a time when I felt very alone, and very dark. I wore it every single day. And as I touched it in the day, it felt so fragile to me. Like if I pressed too hard, the wings would break off.
This morning, I got this present.
I think it’s a nice way to ring in 34. It’s bigger, and the Back Fence blue. It is solid and smooth. It’s in flight. I think that’s what 34 will bring. Less fragility. More strength. And flight. Delicious flight.
A new bird to ring in 34.
So, I will see so many of you tonight. And for all of you, thank you for being wonderful. Thank you for your love and support and, of course, for making me laugh.
